Bizarre Story
by superalicat
Summary: This maybe be the most random collection of stories that feature the girls of HTT, even weird by K-On standards. They're supposed to be funny...idk, they might not be. Try to enjoy the bizarre lives of Yui, Mio, Ritsu, Azusa, and Mugi in these stories!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Bizarre Story

Characters: Everyone (at least by the end)

Pairings: Azusa/Yui and Mio/Ritsu

Yui's hand reached across the table until it found Azusa's. "Azusa, you're the caramel to my ice cream sundae, the strawberry to my cake. Thank you for letting me go out with you."

"Oh, Yui-senpai. I should be the one thanking you."

"Maybe you can."

The two girls leaned closer and closer together until their heads touched. Their hair, brown and black, blended together until you couldn't tell the two apart.

"…and that's why I was looking at you like that, Yui-senpai! That was my dream, and I felt so awful about it today that I couldn't look you in the eye! I'm so sorry!"

In front of Azusa, the four other members of Afterschool Tea Time gaped at her. Azusa's legs wobbled violently and she suddenly lurched toward Yui. There was a horrible ripping noise and Azusa's top tore in half, revealing what was underneath.

"I'm so sorry, Yui-senpai!" screeched Azusa, who was now pressed up against Yui.

"It's okay, Azunyan." And then Yui started taking her shirt off, too…

Yui woke with a huge grin creeping across her face. She reached over for her cell phone and started writing a text to Azusa. She pressed the "send button", grinning, and…

Azusa's eyes flew open. She lay in bed for a long time, shaking in terror, checking her phone every other minute. Yui-senpai would never do that, would she? And Azusa would never, ever do anything she'd done in that dream!

Meanwhile, Ritsu was walking up the stairs to the club room. She wanted to get in some drum practice. After all, she was the club president, and had to be better than everyone…no, wait, she had to set a good example for them!

The club room was empty, since it was a weekend and everyone was at home. Ritsu pulled her drumsticks out of her bag and sat down at her drum kit. She began warming up, but as she did, she could've sworn she heard someone. When she hit the crash cymbal, she definitely heard an "OWWWW!"

"Wh-what's going on here?" Ritsu cried.

"Ritsu, help me!" It was Mio's voice, but Mio was nowhere in sight. "I've been turned into your drum kit!"

"What?" scoffed Ritsu. "You're joking. I bet you're hiding somewhere and you're playing a joke on me."

"I'm NOT. Please help me!" Mio sounded desperate, and scared. Ritsu decided to believe her.

"So, if I play you, it hurts?" Ritsu asked quizzically. She hit the snare drum experimentally and heard Mio shout in protest.

"That was my _head_!"

"Really? So then, where's your…?"

"Right there," Mio groaned as Ritsu used the kick petal to play a note on the kick drum.

"You know, this could be interesting," mused Ritsu. "I have a best friend who's also a drum kit. Wouldn't that be cool to tell people?"

Mio shouted, "This is serious!"

"Fine, fine. I want my regular drum kit back anyway. We've just got to figure out a way to get you back to your regular body, then." Ritsu screwed up her whole face in concentration. "Nope, I can't think of anything."

"Did you even try?" Mio groaned.

Suddenly everything went dark. Ritsu felt a strange sensation spreading throughout her body. Looking around, she found that she was lying on her back in a dark place. She tried moving her arms and legs but couldn't. From far away, she heard Mio saying, "I'm back to normal!"

There was a loud noise above Ritsu's head, like a giant zipper. The blackness went away and Ritsu saw a huge Mio looming about her.

"And now to practice, ElizaBass," Mio said contentedly.

"It's not ElizaBass!" Ritsu shouted as loudly as she could, finally understanding what was going on. "It's me, Ritsu! You got switched back to normal but I got turned into your bass!"

"Ehh?" Mio cried. "Oh no, Ritsu! What do we do?"

"Well, first we find out what's going on here," grumbled Ritsu. "I'm not going to be a string instrument for the rest of my life."

"How do you think I felt, being a drum kit and getting beaten up by you?"

"I did NOT beat you up!"

Just then, Ritsu heard the door of the music room burst open. "Oh, thank goodness, Sawa-chan!" Mio cried. "Come quick. Ritsu's been turned into my bass!"

"Oh, I know." Sawa-chan's voice dropped to sound low-pitched and creepy.

"You…what?" said Ritsu. She was suddenly leaning against the back of a chair and could see everything that was going on. Sawa-chan towered over Mio, who had turned very pale. Sawa-chan turned toward Ritsu, a grin spreading over her face.

"I've placed this curse on you because you refuse to dress up for me!" Sawa-chan cried, her face becoming dark and frightening. Mio screamed as lightning flashed around the teacher. Ritsu desperately longed to beat some sense into Sawa-chan, but she was stuck as a bass. So there was only one thing left for her to do.

"Please, Sawa-chan," begged Ritsu. "Change me back. I swear I'll cosplay all you want if you just change me back into myself. I'm the club president, after all. A club can't be lead by a bass!"

"Well, actually," Yui said sweetly, popping suddenly into the music room, "We _are _the Light Music Club, so it would be cool to have a bass as the president."

"THAT'S NOT HELPING!" Ritsu shouted, and Yui vanished. Sawa-chan cackled and the suddenly produced a huge rack of frilly, colorful outfits.

"You will dress up for me…forever!" the teacher cried. There was a crack of thunder and Mio, huddled into a ball in the corner of the room, whimpered. More thunder crashed and the rack of clothes advanced toward Ritsu. The clothes began moaning and chanting in creepy, ethereal voices, and Mio screamed and screamed as Sawa-chan shrieked with laughter.

Ritsu sat upright in bed. Looking around, she saw that she was in her room, and she was quite obviously not a bass. When she saw the frilly outfits her mom had bought for her yesterday in an attempt to make her more girly, Ritsu stuck out her tounge. "What are you looking at?" she asked them, throwing her pillow at them.

But Mio's day was going completely differently. She was currently at the mall, gaping at the lefty instruments at the music store. Suddenly, she felt someone tap her shoulder. Before she could even turn around, she heard movement behind her and a loud exclamation. When she finally looked, she saw that her bodyguards were there, holding a frightened-looking blond girl in a headlock.

"Ritsu, Satoshi, that's enough," Mio said calmly. The two siblings released the blond girl. "I'm so sorry," Mio said to her. "Did you need anything?"

The girl looked like she was about to burst into tears. "I-I just wanted to give you the homework you missed on Friday-I'm in your class, you know-but I guess not!" She ran off, half-sobbing.

"You guys," Mio said to her bodyguards. "You really shouldn't freak people out like that."

"We're sorry!" both of the Tainaka siblings exclaimed. "We were just doing our job."

"Mio-sama, you can punish me however you want!" Ritsu wailed.

"That's really not necessary," Mio said, blushing. She'd noticed Ritsu watching her a lot-even if she was her bodyguard. "We should probably get home."

"Yes, ma'am!"

The next day, Mio decided to sneak out of the house without her bodyguards. They really were getting on her nerves. Especially Ritsu, since it seemed like the golden-eyed girl was obsessed with her, and even more than usual.

As Mio turned a corner into an alley, she suddenly noticed two men in dark clothing following her. Rounding another corner, she ran headlong into another two men. They reached out for her and Mio screamed loudly. "Somebody! Save me!"

"I'll save you!" exclaimed a male voice. Satoshi came flying out of nowhere and straight into the two men who had grabbed Mio. He managed to make them let go of Mio, but he was knocked out cold in the process. He lay sprawled out on the pavement, his golden eyes closed.

"I guess that's what happens when you let your prepubescent little brother become a bodyguard with you," said a sad voice at Mio's side. Ritsu was standing next to her, head bowed. The other men that had been tailing Mio started towards them. Quickly, Ritsu pulled what looked like a grappling hook attached to rope out of her pocket and flung it toward the roof of a nearby building. She held on tight to the other end of the rope and wrapped an arm around Mio's waist. "I've got you," Ritsu said in Mio's ear. Pulling on the rope, both girls were lifted into the air and away from the thugs in the alley. Mio screamed loudly, but Ritsu pulled her close, so that Mio wasn't in danger of falling.

Eventually, both of them landed on the roof of the building, which was deserted. The wind blew through Mio's hair, and she stood facing Ritsu, whose hands were on Mio's shoulders.

"Mio, I want to tell you something."

"What is it, Ritsu?"

Ritsu's golden eyes were bright and full of what looked like tears. "Mio, I've wanted to tell you this for so long. It's my job to look after you, but lately I've wanted to do more than just look after you. I love you, Mio, so much that it hurts just to look at you. This sensation in my heart won't stop unless you're right by my side, or in my arms. I want to always look after you and protect you until the day I die, because you are my soul mate, my intended one. I will never stop loving you, beautiful Mio."

"CUT!" shouted Mugi. "Ritsu, you're supposed to say the lines with feeling!"

"I quit!" screamed Ritsu. Her cheeks were flaming red, though she was sure to deny it later. "This TV show is stupid!" She stormed away, still in her costume. Mio just stood there, blushing furiously as Mugi went into a huddle with her producers. Ritsu had definitely said those lines with feeling…maybe too much feeling? Was Ritsu really in love with her? Mio's heart made a jolt in her chest. She certainly wouldn't mind it if that was true…

Mio's eyes opened and she found herself lying safely in her own bed. No bodyguards, and no TV shows about bodyguards. She exhaled, feeling more calmed down. But what she didn't know was that, somewhere else, the fake director of that made-up TV show was having a much tougher time than she was…

_To be continued…_


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Bizarre Story 2

Characters: By the end, I'm pretty sure every single character will be in this

Pairings: Sawako/Mugi (because that is apparently a thing)

Tsumugi Kotobuki woke up to the sound of her alarm clock going off at 5 am sharp. She pulled on her maid's outfit as fast as she could, dashing through the doors of her tiny apartment and out onto the street. It would take her 15 minutes exactly to reach the Hirasawa residence.

As usual, she let herself into the large house through the back entrance. She didn't say anything to anyone, just walked along obediently. Once she was up on the top floor, Mugi was facing two doors, both with different lettering on them in metal characters. The door on the left said "Yui" and the one on the right said "Ui". The top floor was entirely populated by these two girls.

Mugi knocked on Ui's door first. "Hirasawa-san? Time to get up." She stood against the wall and waited obediently for the girl to come out.

Eventually, a sleepy-looking brunette poked her head out of the door. "Tsumugi-san? It's five-thirty already?"

"It's earlier than that. You and your sister have a busy day today, remember?"

"Yes, I do. Please get dressed and I will give you your agenda for the day." The door closed behind Ui and Mugi turned to Yui's door next.

"Hirasawa-san? It's time to wake up."

It took much longer for the older sister to respond to Mugi's wake-up call. A voice from behind the door griped, "I don't wanna get up. Let me sleep in."

"Hirasawa-san, today you and your sister have to attend an extremely important ball."

"Ugh. Leave me alone."

Behind Mugi, a voice said, "You should let her be. Ever since she drove away her tenth tutor this year, she's been unbearable."

"Her tenth tutor, Hirasawa-san? But it's only June." Turning around, Mugi saw that Ui was dressed in a cashmere sweater and silk skirt that Mugi knew cost more than $500 put together.

"Leave her be, Tsumugi-san."

Hearing Ui's orders, Mugi dutifully turned away from the door. "I will escort you down to the dining room now, Hirasawa-san. I'm afraid your parents will not be joining you for breakfast. They have meetings that will last a few hours."

After dropping Ui off for breakfast in her immense dining room full of delicious-looking food, Mugi went back up to the top floor. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the emergency set of keys the Hirasawas had given her when they'd employed her. She unlocked Yui's door and stepped inside.

Yui's residence, which was the size of a large penthouse, was one of the messiest places she'd ever seen in her life. Clothes were flung around everywhere, plates full of half-eaten food perched on all the tables in the room, and Yui was in the middle of it all, sprawled over on the carpet. Mugi knew it was soft, but she wasn't that lazy.

"Hirasawa-san, you _must_ get up," Mugi said insistently.

Yui turned her head to the side to look at Mugi. Her brown eyes were full of an emotion Mugi couldn't even put a word to. "N. O. No," she said. "Who are you, anyway? You're just some dumb maid. You can't make me do anything. Screw you."

Mugi felt like she'd been slapped. "H-Hirasawa…"

Yui was sitting up, glaring. "I know what you've been up to. You've been stealing food from the kitchens, trying on some of our outfits, and you've been telling my parents about me. I'm going to get you fired, and there's nothing you can do about it. Just like those _stupid_ tutors. Unless you get out of here first."

Mugi gasped. "N-no, no! Please don't tell them. I'm begging you. This is the only way I make money and I…I didn't mean to try on those clothes and eat that food. Please!" Images flashed through her mind: trying on the very same clothes Ui was wearing today, taking small bites of cake in case anyone caught her eating it, picking up a wad of yen notes from where Yui had left it on the floor of her room. Yui didn't know everything she'd done, but she certainly knew enough to fire Mugi for good. Tears welled up in Mugi's eyes, and she ran out of the room, sobbing.

"I'm done!" she wailed at the Hirasawa parents, who were coming in through the front door. They looked dumbfounded at the appearance of their maid running out of their front door, crying her head off.

As Mugi was heading off the Hirasawa property, her cell phone rang. Picking it up, Mugi cleared her throat and said, "Yes?"

"Is this Tsumugi Kotobuki?" a voice on the other end said.

"Y-yes it is."

"This is your landlord. I'm afraid you've been behind on your rent for two months, and if you don't pay it by tonight, I'm afraid you'll be evicted." The person on the other end of the line hung up and tears dripped down Mugi's face. Her payday was at the end of the week, but now that she didn't have her job anymore, she wouldn't be paid. Which mean that she was out of a job and a home now. What was she going to do?

Mugi's alarm clock went off and her eyes slowly opened. For some reason, she didn't feel like she'd been crying.

"Kotobuki-san? Time to get up," came the voice of her maid from the other side of her door. Slowly, Mugi got out of bed and opened the door, giving her maid a big hug. Her maid looked surprised but pleased at the same time. Mugi was grateful that she was never like Yui had been in her dream, too lazy and spoiled for her own good, or even like Ui, too controlled and robotic for _her _own good.

But speaking of the Hirasawa siblings, something strange was going on with them as well.

Ui opened the door to the Hirasawa house. She carried a large bag of groceries that she had just bought at the store nearby. Placing them in the fridge, she walked up the stairs until she reached the bedrooms. She briefly passed her own, glancing to see whether anything in it had been disturbed. Nothing had. Continuing down the hall, she knocked on the door of Yui's room.

"Yui? I'm coming in!"

She opened the door. A familiar brown-haired head popped up from the floor and Yui hurled herself straight at Ui. "Ui! I want ice cream!"

Ui looked down at the adorable little girl hugging her legs. A pair of sweet brown eyes peered up at her. "Not until after dinner, little sis." Yui released her leg and Ui sat down on the floor next to the elementary schooler who was her little sister.

"Ui! I saw a really cool guitar when we went shopping yesterday!"

Ui smiled. "Do you want to learn how to play music, little sis?"

Yui shook her head, her brown hair flopping in her eyes. "No! I want to be a kindergarten teacher and play with kids forever." Yui was barely out of kindergarten herself, but Ui thought it was good that her little sister had a dream. She worried about Yui's future sometimes, since the young girl wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box.

"Yeah, but you can play with me right now," said Ui. "What do you want to do?"

"Let's pretend we're in a rock and roll band!" her sister cried. She was obviously still thinking about the guitar she'd seen. "I'll be guitar!"

"Aw, man, Yui. I wanted to be guitar too," giggled Ui.

Yui blinked up at Ui with those big, vulnerable eyes. "Oh, you can be guitar with me." She pretended to hold out an invisible guitar, and then pretended to strum it. "Air guitar!" she squealed, looking happy and carefree. Ui smiled, but she was sighing a little inside. What would innocent little Yui be like in high school, when there was all sorts of pressure on her and no time for fun and games…?

"Ui?" There was a pair of big brown eyes above her and she felt someone gently prodding her awake.

Sitting up in bed, Ui saw Yui standing over her, The normal, older-sister Yui, that is, not the adorable little girl Ui got to take care of. Then again…

"I'm hungry," Yui moaned. "Ice cream?"

"You've got to eat a real meal first," chided Ui.

"Aw, man…"

Ui's thoughts drifted back to her dream. Sure, the little girl had been cute, but she wouldn't trade the Yui in that dream for the Yui she had now, not for anything. She beamed up at her sister.

"Tell you what, Yui. Let's have some ice cream now."

"Really?!"

"Yeah! But just this once, okay?"

"'Kay…Ooh, what flavor should I have?" Yui was evidently so excited that she took off for the kitchen without Ui.

"Hey, wait, sis! I have to get dressed first!"

In a different place, but at the same time, someone else was also struggling to get dressed. Eventually she got it on and stepped out from behind the curtain.

"Ohhh, Sawa-chan, you look amazing!" Mugi, who was wearing a shiny pink sheath dress, squealed in delight.

Ritsu tugged on her golden dress, which matched Mugi's, except for its color. She was obviously not pleased to be wearing it, though it matched her eyes. Her bangs had been tucked behind her ears instead of under a headband, and it kept falling in her eyes. Mio, wearing a blue sheath dress, tucked them back whenever this happened.

"You think?" Sawako asked, twirling in her poofy white gown. After lots of planning-all by her-the day had finally come. It was the day of her wedding, and the members of the Light Music Club were all her bridesmaids.

"Totally," Mio agreed, tucking a strand of Ritsu's golden-brown hair back behind her ear.

"Um, when exactly were you planning on telling us that you were getting married?" asked Azusa, wearing a dress in the same style as the other girls', but in spring green. "I can't believe you just told us this today. Also, why are _we_ your bridesmaids?"

"That's true," agreed Mio. "You could've let your music students do it too."

"I think she just likes dressing us up," grumbled Ritsu. "I feel so stupid."

Suddenly, the door burst open, and Yui stood on the other side, wearing yet another sheath dress. This one was in a bright, cheerful red.

"Y-Yui-senpai," stammered Azusa. "You look beautiful!"

Yui titled her head to the side and beamed. "You think so, Azu-nyan?"

"Stop that!" This was Ritsu, slapping Mio's hand away from her hair. Her cheeks were flushed pink. "I…I can do it myself, Mio." Mio ignored her and tucked the hair behind Ritsu's ear anyway, making the other girl blush even more.

While this was going on, Sawako sidled over to Mugi. "Could you please sign this catering bill?" she asked the blonde, who was smiling at everything.

"Sure!" chirped Mugi, signing her name on the paper.

Just then, the wedding march began playing loudly. Everyone got in line behind Sawako: first Yui, then Mio, Ritsu, Mugi, and Azusa. Sawako picked up her bouquet and began walking toward the ballroom of the hotel they were in (which was next door to the conference room they'd been changing in).

The first thing the Light Music Club noticed was that the room was strangely empty except for an altar, a CD player that was blasting the wedding march, and two chairs. In one was Ui and in the other was Jun. Both were wearing aqua-colored sheath dresses and clapped loudly when the strange party came through the doors.

Finally, everyone stopped at the altar. "Um…Sawa-chan? Where's the groom?" Ritsu asked. They formed a crowd around the bride. Mugi stood next to Sawako, looking anxious.

"Oops. Did I forget to tell you…he doesn't exist?" Sawako said cheekily. Everyone gasped. Suddenly, in the space of a microsecond, Sawako scooped up Mugi, who looked like she was about to faint, in her arms. "It's _our_ wedding!" Sawako declared. "Mugi already signed the wedding certificate and everything! I made it look like a bill, but that's not what it was at all."

Mugi made a faint noise, though nobody was sure whether she was protesting or not. Sawako tossed her bouquet into the air and raced off with Mugi still in her arms.

Nobody spoke, though faint squeals of delight came from Ui and Jun. Mio reached out her hand to brush a strand of hair away from Ritsu's face and caught the bouquet. Her cheeks burned red.

Sawako's eyes opened and she blinked sleepily. She was bent over the table, where she'd been making yet another outfit for the Light Music Club. A dreamy smile spread across her face, and then she was asleep again.

Nodoka shot out of her seat, screaming her lungs out.

"N…Nodoka-chan?" Yui asked nervously, approaching her friend.

With a yelp, Nodoka backed away. Had she really just dreamed about…Yui dreaming? Looking around, she saw that she was in the music room with everyone-everyone she'd dreamed about. Azusa was showing Ui and Jun a few chords on her guitar in the corner. Close by, Mugi was making tea and Mio was tuning her bass. Ritsu was drumming on the table next to Sawa-chan, who was eating a large chocolate cake.

"What's going on?" Shakily, Nodoka sat back down at the table with Yui next to her. Fragments of her insane dreams came back to her: Azusa and Yui on a date, Mio and Ritsu on a TV show sponsored by Mugi, who was later poor and working for Yui and Ui, who later swapped bodies, and Sawako turning people into instruments, and later getting married-to Mugi!

"You came here to study with us, but once you fell asleep, we decided not to bother." Ritsu said, nearly knocking over Yui's teacup with her drumsticks.

"Oh, that's right…I pulled an all-nighter studying. How long was I asleep…?"

"A while. But are you okay now, Nodoka-chan? You should eat some sweets!"

"I don't think so, Yui. I should go home and get some sleep for real." Looking around the room, Nodoka noticed that she'd dreamed about everyone's dreams…except for Yui's. What the heck did Yui dream about at night? Nodoka shuddered. Even if they were childhood friends, she did _not_ want to find out.

Shaking her head, Nodoka stood up and said fondly, "I swear, you guys are so _weird _sometimes!"


End file.
